I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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