On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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