we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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