i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
