ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
