it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
