I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
