I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
