why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
soo... how was my night?
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