Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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