Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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