accomplished twins. life is a go
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize