i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
