i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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