You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
