Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
