I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
