Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
