Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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