I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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