I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
