i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize