There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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