I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
