i can't believe i had my finger in that
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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