no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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