feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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