This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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