She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
