So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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