508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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