Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
