You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
