he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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