Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
