Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
