i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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