I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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