you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She told me I should be a condom model.
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He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
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One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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