well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
