Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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