Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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