fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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