i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
