if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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