Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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