Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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