So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize