i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
