its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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