Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
