We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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