those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
