The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Dick very happy bro
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
