She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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