I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
