she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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