someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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