No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
