your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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