I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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