Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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