Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
