omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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